The Mean Purples.

Audrey Hepburn, as Holly Golightly, said, "the blues is when you're just down...that's all..." She goes on to introduce a new and interesting concept: the mean reds. She describes this as being "...afraid--only you don't know what you're afraid of!"; explaining that this particular brand of emotional turmoil is much worse than simply having the blues.

I beg to differ.

First of all (and let the record show that I am a big fan Breakfast at Tiffany's--as every girl is--and a HUGE fan of Audrey's), calling one feeling worse than the other is like comparing Blue Bell to Ben & Jerry's. I mean, sure, they're both ice cream but...

But I'd like to introduce yet another colorful label to these oversimplifications: the mean purples. This is when you feel like you need to punch something or someone but you have no idea why. And despite the implementation every relaxation technique and every strategy you know that would have ordinarily calmed your nerves and returned you to center, your mood just will not stabilize...and suddenly every blunder in your day is evidence that, today, you're simply supposed to be pissed. You think you've gotten yourself under control, but then--bam!--someone is irresponsible and throws off your entire day...or--opps!--now you're picking dirt from your favorite lip balm that just went tumbling to the ground...or--sideswipe!--your typically very compliant, adult dog is suddenly atypically refusing to follow any directions, including "go potty"; resolving to simply sit down in the grass and wait patiently for you to let him back inside. Get you a handful of those fun times to go down before noon and you've got yourself a case of the mean purples.

What sucks about the mean purples is the fact that they can often include the mean reds or blues, or even (gasp) both! Repeated attempts at optimism are continually thwarted, which may make you feel worse than if you'd just given in to the low as feelings of defeat are now put into play. My solution: go through your day telling yourself that nothing lasts forever, not even the mean purples. Get things done, but try to avoid the stuff you know will usually get you up in arms because, on a day like today, your head may just blow completely off. As soon as possible, get yourself into a quiet place with nothing but your favorite reading material, television show, or music....and just breathe in and out. When you get ready to go to bed, remind yourself that every day can't be the best day ever but that, you'll try to make tomorrow at least one for the books. And that's the best you can do. Usually, even an uneventful day following a particularly substandard day will feel like an upgrade. And everyone knows upgrades are awesome.

That clear up your emotional confusion? You're welcome.