I've got what you need...

If you think about how much of your life is dictated by others, it might depress you...or excite you...depending on how your particular cookie crumbles.

Consider, for a moment, how often you think about how you'll need to dress for something; whether you said the right thing, if you'll meet so-and-so; how much Joe Blow pisses you off; if your co-worker has done their job so you can do yours; did the server get your order right--and if not, should you confront them or just suck it up and eat the medium-rare steak.............and so on and so forth.

I don't suppose we need to visit the topic of the necessity of human interaction in general. I do; however, think it's worth noting the immeasurable amount of trouble we go to in order to secure these essential connections.

...Which brings me to this question...
How much energy will we expend to meet that special someone?

...and this question...
How much hell will you go through to keep that someone around?

In my very (very) short time of being married (going on 2 years--yeah, I know...no time at all), I've found that the most difficult of quandaries are rarely life-altering issues of gargantuan proportions...but rather the tiniest of irritants are typically at the root. It's the small differences that find their way into the largest of recurrent disagreements....many, perhaps even most of which would be avoided if we spent even a quarter of the energy initially expended in the relationship, simply trying to make your significant other as happy as possible.

Ah, but isn't that the very dilemma? If we were really capable of being totally invested in someone else's happiness (well, someone not genetically linked to you), would there ever be a need to argue? Wouldn't the world spin just perfectly and harmoniously? We behave in ways that will yield the largest return. All that energy and effort we addressed earlier is really directed toward ourselves. In other words, it's the drive to satisfy ourselves--our own self-esteem, desires, etc.--that's really at the root of our actions....which is unfortunate considering how disadvantageous this is to a successful, long-term (or, best case scenario, lifetime) relationship with another human being.

So how do we rectify this in favor of maintaining a fulfilling partnership? Well, when I find out I'll let you know.