TRUST...

I'm always amazed at just how quickly a person can prove how fragile and easily removable trust is. In the past, I've been an equal opportunity truster...being careful about who I let in while still being willing to let it happen. But oh how quickly and forcefully I'm reminded that trust is fragile, and most often undervalued. Hell, right now, I'm wondering if anyone really knows what it means anymore. I'm always shocked, like I didn't see it coming...but deep down...I know I did. I know who's really there for me and who's just there. And yet I try to take everyone in. Try to accept and be accepted by everyone. Some abandonment issues from my childhood no doubt. But I'm over it...For good over it...Trust and I are finished. With those TWO who have established it in my life and kept it alive and thriving...with those two it will stay. No more loans or rentals. The shit never comes back like it was when I lent it out. So...I'm over it...I need a new word for over.

Damn this masochistic nature of mine...I've got to get some sort of cream or pill for this!